Vol. 1

Since everyone else’s leading story is Brett Favre, I’ll start with him. Really Brett?? In apparent attempt to one-up Michael Jordan, Brett Favre has decided to break his retirement not once, but TWICE. I’m guessing he will come back “wearin the 4-5” this time too. It’s gotten to the point where there has to be no one on the planet dumb enough to believe that when he retires at the end of this year (he will), it will be for good. I think we might live to see the first NFL quarterback who gets paid through his NFL employer AND draws a social security check. One thing is for certain though, he’ll cry at the press conference…Brett showing how I know he's gay

I’ll give Brett this, he told the truth in the first of the Brett Favre trilogy of retirements…he said “I’ve given all I can and I HAVE NOTHING LEFT”….prophetic…

This is also good news for Wrangler Jeans, who doesn’t have to can the 1985 commercial of Favre playin some touch football in his backyard…because that obviously truly happened, and Wrangler got to film it.

(Side note: Favre was actually picked off by a 45 year-old chiropractor in the making of the commercial, but Nike confiscated the film.)

SOBERING FACT OF THE DAY: Brett “fo-five” Favre, 40, is actually 7 years older than Denver Broncos Head Coach, Josh McDaniels.

MADE-UP FACT OF THE DAY: Brett Favre is still a good quarterback.


Now on to another come-back story…Michael Vick. PETA is apparently living up to their word and protesting outside of the Philadelphia Eagles practice facility. Michael has spent the last few months out of jail going to different schools to discourage kids from making the same mistakes he made over 2 years ago. So that begs me to ask, “What is PETA’s end-game with their protests?” Are you trying to get people to boycott Eagles’ home games this season? In a city that has one of the Top 5 most loyal fan bases in the nation, that clearly can’t be the case. So, is it you feel Vick hasn’t paid his debt to society for what he did? The man went to prison for 2 years for a crime that usually only merits a ~3 month sentence, so that can’t be it. Let’s just remember this, while you are attacking a problem that has already been dealt with, Michael Vick is out trying to keep other problems from ever happening. He is doing your job better than you are.

(Side note: Is there a group called PETP (People for the Ethical Treament of People)? And will they picket outside of any team that ever signs Donte Stallworth?)


Short story…An Alabama linebacker was caught trying to do his best Chris Brown impression. Couple things worth noting after reading the story: Is there anyone you’ve seen happier to get arrested than his girlfriend? And what do you wanna bet that he still plays in the season-opener versus Virginia Tech? He’ll get a noogie from Coach Saban and have to wash Julio Jones’ new Caddi before his up-coming fishing expedition.


College Football Live today picked Notre Dame to go 9-3 this year, AT WORST. Sounds an awful lot like each year the past 15 years, when they are picked to do something and then they sock the media right in the kisser and slowly dive further into irrelevance...Genius



Memphis has to vacate their 38-2 season from two years ago, in which they lost in the Final Four. The NCAA is giving the statement that it will be like that year “never happened” for Memphis. The only Problem? It actually did happen…and those who are at the heart of the scandal John Calipari, Derrick Rose and William “Worldwide Wes” Wesley (Google him), are not affected in the least. Calipari is off in Lexington making it rain (thanks to Wesley) and Derrick Rose cannot be touched by the NCAA. Smooth move NCAA, way to stick it to The Man (two years after The Man left the building).

Finally, Rick Pitino is one happy man. Thanks to Calipari, not many in Kentucky are focused on his awful, horrid transgression. No, I’m not talking about cheating on your wife of 33 years (which btw, is how long Favre has been in the NFL). I’m talking about the fact that you cheated on her with THIS CREATURE . **EDIT: Due to some confusion, "she" is the one on the left...I know, I know, doesn't make sense"** You’re making millions of dollars on a campus FILLED with nice-looking co-eds. And you choose one that looks like she could land a role as a Predator in the next Alien vs. Predator movie. And in the dining area of a Louisville restaurant nonetheless…stay classy, Rick.


That's all for today. Maybe someone will do something stupid next week too.