vol. 7

and Boom goes the dynamite!

I'm back after a couple weeks off. I got my wisdom teeth cut out, so spending time making fun of people wasn't high on my priority list. Plus, watching Virginia Tech flounder is seriously depressing...can I pick a new school to graduate from?

I'll try to make up for my time off with a good amount of material...so I'll get right into it...


Andre Agassi's new book details his use of Crystal Meth while he was playing tennis professionally. There seems to be some disagreement, however, on the timeline of his use of the drug. But judging from his haircut and what he's wearing, I'm gonna guess it would be around this time period

Michael Jordan's son, Marcus, is involved in an on-going battle with Adidas and is dragging his school, Univ. of Central Florida, along with him. UCF is in the last year of a 5-year contract with Adidas, which states that all UCF athletes must wear Adidas apparel to all sporting events. Marcus, being the diva his last name would suggest, has refused to wear Adidas and will only wear his father's "Jordan Brand" shoes. UCF had a scrimmage this week and Marcus wore Jordan's, causing Adidas to drop UCF from its list of schools.

Marcus Jordan may prove to be the most expensive college athlete ever (outside of OJ Mayo) as his decision has cost the school around 5 Million dollars...using his stat line from their scrimmage this week, he is costing UCF...

5 Million Dollars per point



A Crazed Philadelphia Phillies fan wanted some World Series tickets, and being female she did the only reasonable thing she could think of...she sold sexual favors in exchange for tickets. No joke here, just would like to take this time to add that I have VT basketball season tickets for sale...

just sayin...


Speaking of myself, many of you know that I am an aspiring coach, so today I figured I would give you guys an idea of where I go to learn about the game of basketball. Usually I wouldn't reveal my source, but I see this as an opportunity to let this guy help you become a better student of the game, just as he's done for me...

He looks...He shoots...He SCORES!


One person who could learn from Coach Chang is Isaiah Thomas...Thomas has a streak going, his first job was with the Pacers, he ruined that franchise, he then went to the New York Knicks and took the from last place to worst...so it would only make sense that his new job as Head coach of Florida International will not go so well...he proved as much this week by losing to an NAIA school in an exhbition game, which raises a couple questions...

1) Isaiah Thomas is head coach of Florida International...since when did regional airports sponsor universities?

2) You couldn't schedule anyone easier? Indiana scheduled Grace University...they're not even affiliated with the NCAA, but rather the NCCAA (Nat'l Christian College Athletics Assoc.)...Grace was within 6 of Indiana at halftime, it was literally the worst basketball game I've ever witnessed.


Sobering news...Joe Paterno died earlier this evening from complications surrounding a century-long battle with dysentery. Paterno contracted dysentery while traveling on the Oregon Trail with his great grandkids.

Editor's Note: I really miss that game, Oregon Trail...though it really was impossible not to die from dysentery.

It may surprise some of you baseball fans that I didn't lead off my article with the World Series...well, I have a good excuse...I didn't watch and didn't care. I accidentally watched more Gossip Girl by surfing channels, than I did of any game of the World Series...it also bugs me that it's called the "World Series", maybe if by "world" they mean "from Miami to Canada"...maybe the MLS should change their championship name to the "World Cup"


The NBA cares...

remember those advertisements? Well, we know for certain that the LA Clippers care, at least. The Clippers saw the terrible economy and decided to give a lucrative contract to a homeless man

The homeless man will play PG and go by the name of "Baron Davis"


Glen "Big Baby" Davis has stated that he plans to play in the NFL in the future. The Boston Celtics forward is 6'9 290lbs, but I don't like the NFL chances of anyone whose nickname is "big baby". Furthermore, Big Fat Lardo Lazy Baby is currently out for six weeks with a broken thumb...if you're going to play in the NFL and miss six weeks, at least shoot yourself in the leg.

Don't worry though Celtics fans, Fat Boi has some unfinished business first...

"When I become an All-Star in the NBA, then I'll try football" said Davis.

Glen Davis isn't even good enough to be an All-2009 Boston Celtic, so don't sweat him jumping to the NFL anytime soon


Th Western Athletic Conference (WAC) decided to hire a PR firm to help promote Boise State as a legitimate national title contender. The PR firm came up with 3 solutions, much to the surprise of WAC officials.

1) Move to the PAC-10
2) Stop scheduling Pop Warner teams for out-of-conference opponents
3) Have the WAC change their name to the Southeastern Conference


That's all for this week...